


Evanesce

by Cobalt Silver Foster (DaisyQuartz)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (almost) Everything contributes to the plot, ;), AU Harry's NAME IS IN ITALICS, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dark!Harry, Dimension Travel, Family, Gen, Hint to plot in every chapter, Hurt/Comfort, Maybe Squib!Harry, Mentions of Time Travel, No bad language, No character bashing, Nothing is random~, Two Harrys, Updates on Weekends and Holidays, bet you cannot guess without reading this tag but, focuses on AU Harry's POV, guilt tripping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25774273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyQuartz/pseuds/Cobalt%20Silver%20Foster
Summary: Mere hours after Harry had turned eleven, he vanished.Harry thought he saw his father vanishing into the forest, the second time. Only he wasn’t his father.Hermione knew that it was her fault, even as she tried to save him, she only managed to drive him deeper.Names are important. The Goblet of Fire, the Prophesy... A name. Harry Potter.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

_Harry_ raced the short distance to the Dursley's front door, stumbling slightly on the doormat. His breath came short as he fumbled with the letters on the mat. There was a postcard with a picture of a calm sea and a brown envelope. Where was his letter? He turned the brown envelope over, it was for his uncle, the small black writing said so.

She'd... She'd said that his letter would come today, his birthday. _Harry_ looked up. He could still hear the murmurs of the adults talking, the sound of his cousin shovelling food into his mouth. He opened his mouth as if to say something. Then he jerked back, falling and tumbling into...

_Harry_ 's last glimpse of his world was the Dursley's clean wallpaper and neat furniture.

~~~

It was hot. The wind drifted lazily, ruffling the heads of the swaying grass.

They were lounging beneath a large tree, Harry leaning drowsily against the trunk, Hermione and Ron bickering halfheartedly.

Shards of sunlight danced across the surface of the lake. Harry half-closed his eyes, watching through his lashed as a tentacle lifted from the water, flinging droplets into the air.

It was only a few days ago when he'd seen the silver stag gallop towards him, when he'd thought he saw his father.

Harry jerked upright, his breath caught, eyes searching through the foliage on the opposite bank.

"Harry?" Ron was looking at him strangely.

"Did you see that?" A flash of dark hair amongst the deep green leaves, Harry pointed at it, “It’s there!”

Hermione looked sympathetic. "We know it's hard for you, Harry, but you can’t keep..."

Harry shook his head, "No, I saw someone." He jumped up, "Look!"

Something moved between the trees, moving further into the Forest.

Harry took off running, a painful excitement griping him.

"He's barmy," Ron muttered.

But Hermione had lept up as well. "Someone might be lost in there!" She exclaimed, jogging after him.

"You're both barmy!" Ron called as he scrambled after them.

A crash sounded deeper in the forest.

_Harry_ scrambled up from where he'd fallen. He could hear people behind him, closer now. He pressed the Key against his chest, praying for portkey to work this time. The silver ornament swung uselessly on its piece of string. He nearly tripped on another root.

"Please stop, we just want to talk!" A woman's voice, sounding worried.

_Harry_ felt light-headed, weak from being transported here. (How he got here, he didn't know.) His legs gave way as he tumbled down again, he was shaking, his vision blurring as he tried to get back up.

"Don't - Don't come any closer!" He hated how his voice shook. He didn’t have any weapons, didn't have a wand - he was barely eleven!

The sound of the footsteps stopped. They were above him, hidden by a thick plant shielding the down-sloping path. He wasn’t in any shape to run any more.

"Are you alright?" Another voice.

"Where am I? Where did you bring me?" He demanded, struggling to pull himself up.

A pause, then, "We didn't bring you here," The woman's voice was soothing, "Could you tell me who you are?"

"We won't hurt you. Well, unless Snape finds us here. Then he'll..."

"Stop it, Ron!" A small scuffle, someone yelped.

_Harry_ grimaced, backing away carefully.

Another boy, his voice strangely familiar, cleared his throat, "You are at Hogwarts - a magical school. We are students here."

"Oh." His breath fluttered, "So you know my mum, Lily Potter?"

A silence, he could hear furious whispering. He shifted shakily, his hand reaching up to touch the Key again.

"I - We know of her..."

"Hey, can we come down now?"

"Don't rush him!"

"Come on Hermione, Harry's dying to meet him."

"Meet whom?" _Harry_ wondered.

The other person cleared his throat. Hermione shushed him.

"May we come down? No wands, I promise." Hermione assured him.

_Harry_ straightened, tensing slightly.

The girl stepped down, her palms turned upwards. Hermione was around four years older than Harry, she had bushy brown hair. And she was staring at him.

"What?" _Harry_ asked, almost offended.

"Nothing." She smiled brightly at him, "You're Harry?"

_Harry_ moved to nod, then jumped as another person crashed down from the small ledge.

"Sorry!" The boy yelped, "Ron pushed me!"

Harry stumbled back, because the older boy looked just like...

"Whoa, you're identical!"

Hermione seemed about to slap Ron.

~~~

"Look, we can explain..." The person who looked so much like _Harry_ , shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Hermione as if for help.

_Harry_ blinked, "Did you use Polyjuice? Then an ageing potion? Is this a stupid trick?" He demanded.

"Harry, have you ever heard of a Timeturner?"

_Harry_ took a step back. "Time - time travel? You travelled through time."

The trio exchanged a pained look.

"Well, no..."

"It shouldn't have turned out this way! The Timeturner was perfectly fine when we used it. It was licensed by the Ministry, it should have been perfectly safe and..."

"Hermione, calm down." It was unsettling to see his duplicate comforting the flustered girl. "It wasn't your fault. Really." He glanced at _Harry_. "And it isn't yours either."

_Harry_ tilted his head, "You're me. From the future?"

The other Harry laughed awkwardly, "Yes, I guess. Strange isn't it." He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"And can you return me to my time?"

"We're really sorry, Harry," Hermione's tone was painfully sympathetic.

She stared at him, biting her lip. "Maybe Dumbledore will know what to do."

~~~

It seemed that Dumbledore did not.

"You mean I won't be able to go back, ever?" His voice cracked, and he ducked his head, nails digging into the soft fabric of the conjured couch.

The professor gazed at the boy sorrowfully, "Maybe after some time, my boy. Until then, we should get you settled."

_Harry_ raked his hand through his hair, "I don't want to be settled!" he cried, "I'm not..." He tried to remember how to breathe again, flinched as Hermione patted him comfortingly.

Dumbledore's intense blue gaze was studying him again. "Harry, have you ever had a scar on your forehead?"

Beside him, the other Harry startled. _Harry_ frowned, "What do you mean?" He lifted his fringe, tracing his fingers along the unblemished skin, as it had always been.

Dumbledore seemed grave, "Ah, I see now." And then, half to himself, "This may be difficult, my boy."

~~~

_Harry_ left the office clutching a wrapped candy, panic knawing at the edges of his mind.

"It'll be alright. Dumbledore will find a way."

"Yeah, he's amazing."

_Harry_ nodded along, the wrapper crinkling in his palm. They fell silent again.

"What was it like in... your world?" Ron cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the silence.

"It's nice." _Harry_ shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Where are we going?"

The other Harry turned to him, frowning, "How was Voldemort defeated in your world?"

Ron made a muffled noise, Hermione covered her mouth.

"What's a Voldemort?"

The other Harry seemed to be struggling with something, "He is - was the Dark Lord." He shook his head, "Dead."

_Harry_ stared at him and the other boy looked away. Was that... guilt?

Ron was gaping. Hermione pursed her lips, "Harry?"

_Harry_ cleared his throat, "There hasn't been a Dark Lord since Grindelwald." His gaze snapped back to _Harry_ , bright green eyes roiling with thoughts and emotion. _Harry_ took a step back, hands curling.

"And my - your parents? Are they alive." (No Voldemort. How he wished...)

_Harry_ tensed at the question.

"Someone's coming!" They could hear footsteps coming towards them.

"There's a door back there," Ron whispered as they scrambled away.

The door led into a small storeroom. The door shut with whispers of "Stay quiet." And "Be back soon". _Harry_ wondered, eyes straining in the darkness, why he had to hide.

"Ah, Harry, I've been looking for you." _Harry_ knew that voice, from when he would visit...

"Professor Lupin - you're leaving?"

A sigh, "I'm afraid I resigned."

"Why?"

_Harry_ pressed his hand against the cool wood of the door. Remus was a werewolf. He felt exhausted.

The door opened again and _Harry_ blinked as he stepped out.

The other Harry was distracted, holding something silvery in his hand. "Here, put this on."

_Harry_ 's fingers slid through the light fabric. He looked up at his counterpart.

"It's an invisibility cloak." He gestured for him to put it on.

_Harry_ sucked in a sharp breath, "Dad's cloak." He hadn't seen it since...

"I hate him." _Harry_ spat, eyes burning, voice full of venom.

"Hate whom?"

But _Harry_ had already jerked the Cloak up, vanishing beneath it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Harry_ knew these corridors, the hallways he'd raced through with the younger students during their break time, the doorways he'd sneaked into when everything was quiet. And there were differences, some classrooms that were in his world were simply gone. Pieces of armour were out of place and portraits hung where there previously were none.

Everything felt wrong, _Harry_ sucked in a breath. Not his castle, not his world. He quickened his steps, catching up with Professor McGonagall. Even she had changed. She was stiff, her body held tightly. Or maybe this was all because of _Harry_. (Maybe he was the one who was wrong, an anomaly.)

"Professor, where are we going?"

"The headmaster has decided that it might be safer for you to stay at Hogwarts for now, this is your room." She stopped at a warm mahogany door. Her gaze swept down on him, "You must not be seen by anyone outside of some of the Hogwarts staff."

_Harry_ nodded, biting his lip. He turned his attention back to the door as Professor McGonagall motioned for him to open it.

"This is the spare bedroom for guests who prefer Gryffindor." It was painted red, with sparks of gold dancing boldly through. The room was quite large, with four empty beds and twin bookshelves. "Your room" she'd said. But this wasn't _Harry_ 's room, and suddenly it all felt so definite. This was his room because he wouldn't go back. He felt sick.

The spare room for Little Potter.

He hadn't been sorted yet, but no one had asked him.

"Wait," He called as the Professor moved to close the door, his voice pleading even to his ears. "Why can't anyone see me?" And... "Where's my mother?"

Professor McGonagall was imposing in her stiffness. And _Harry_ felt as if he'd said something wrong.

"There are some wizards who would be afraid of - dimension travellers." (They would lock you up, never let you go again.) She looked in pity as his eyes glazed.

"Oh." Breathing hitched, fingers curled tightly. "'Bout my mum... dad?"

And her gaze had flickered away, her posture frigid in the chill of the room. (No...) _Harry_ stumbled back, mind seizing with the thought of...

His legs hit the edge of the bed, hands twisting and clawing at the thick blanket, trying to anchor himself because he was going to spin away...

("And my - your parents? Are they alive?" ... "So you knew my mum?" "I - We knew of her.")

"They died bravely, thirteen years ago." (I'm sorry.)

And _Harry_ looked up at her, looked through her. Precious emeralds touched with disbelief, the despair seeping through. "Dad died three years ago. And mum... she's just upstairs and..." (We were happy... And now she's gone.)

The fabric shifted as Minerva sat down. Don't worry, we'll send you back, don't worry.

And _Harry_ laughed (and cried) because this - this wasn't his professor, not the Professor McGonagall who'd scolded him for spying on her lesson, who'd then permitted him to sit with the older students.

He could see the doubt in her eyes, even as she promised and murmured encouragement.

"Please, leave."

And she did. Because in the end, this wasn't her Harry, and that made all the difference.

~~~

Their voices grated his ears, painfully loud after the stillness.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Harry blinked, forcing the room back into focus. The talking stopped, someone knocked. The door opened.

Hermione smiled at him, slightly pensive, her gaze darting away again. The older Harry followed, his arms loosening from their crossed position. He half turned away, scowling at the floor. Ron's brows were knitted, and his eyes lingered on Harry's questioningly. Ron glanced back at McGonagall. She nodded sharply and closed the door as she left them.

The room was silent for a moment, none of them in the mood to speak. Then Ron cleared his throat. Hermione startled, blushing as she hitched up her bookbag, cradling it, looking desperate to be somewhere else.

The other Harry gathered himself, "We should tell him." His expression was almost mutinous.

"No, Harry, Professor McGonagall is right. This information is not for us to tell!"

"And so he has no right to know this?"

"Dumbledore said that telling him might make him universe-"

"No Dumbledore didn't say that-"

Hermione made an exasperated sound and threw up her hands.

The redhaired boy, Ron, happily plonked himself onto the bed next to Harry's. "It used to be me and Hermione doing all the shouting," he managed to look both worried and amused. "Hey, you need another name."

"Hm?"

"Harry the second."

"Why do I need another name?"

"Well, he's Harry and you're Harry. It's like having another pair of twins!" He seemed mildly upset at the thought. "At least you don't seem like the pranking type."

"Oh, right." The other two were still arguing, their voices hushed. Harry still didn't understand what they were talking about. It was just so easy to let the words flow over his heat, drifting and tugging him up so he wouldn't have to think about...

"Hey!" Ron exaggerated a flinch as they both turned to glare at him. "Why don't you ask Harry, Harry Junior, if he'd like to know?"

Harry Junior? Harry shuddered.

"You don't understand!" Hermione cried.

"Tell me what?"

Hermione seemed to rein herself in. "What do you know about time-travelling and alternate dimensions?"

Harry shrugged.

"They're both severely untested. Both might have dire consequences if you make a mistake. Like if you see your future self," she glanced at the older Harry, "Or if you return to your original world with twisted memories of the future."

"But I'll already have memories of this-your world, and it's not the future, not my future."

"There will be similarities..." Hermione bit her lip.

"What about Voldemort?" _Harry's_ doppelganger asked, ignoring the wincing. "His world doesn't have him, not telling him wouldn't be safe. Voldemort might attack and try to..."

"Harry!" Hermione looked stricken, "No, he's safe here. Dumbledore will..."

"What about we don't go into the details, and just, you know..." Ron didn't sound as if he knew.

"Yes."

"I don't know... I suppose..."

Ron sat back, "See, my job's done." He told Harry.

Hermione seemed anguished. "We can't ask Dumbledore about his?"

"No, and we keep this a secret unless it gets out of hand."

And so they told him about snake-faced Dark Lords and strange adventures...

(Harry was still confused.)

~~~

"Hermione, can I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

The other Harry lingered at the doorway. "Come on, it's dinner." Ron dragged him out of the room.

Harry fidgeted. "I mean if you're too busy... Could you help me find some books on alternate dimensions, and how I can go back?"

She seemed delighted. Harry was almost scared by her enthusiasm.

~~~

A/N: I was going to end it here, but... there's more: (Please review?)

~~~

Hermione entered to find Harry furiously wiping his mouth.

"Sorry! If you're busy-" "No, 'was just finishing up." Harry shoved the plates forward on the table, and they vanished. Harry sighed, "Took me a while to figure it out."

"How did you do that?" It reminded Hermione of the meals that vanished in the Great Hall after the students finished.

"Magic?" Harry offered, "So I can eat without going out. Maybe they never plan to let me go because of this..." He shifted restlessly, avoiding Hermione's eyes.

Harry had drawn back the curtains, Hermione noticed, the dimming light glowed, warm on her skin. But the windows were closed, the panes muting the rich colours outside.

Hermione looked away.

She steadied her breath, forcing herself to brighten, "I've got books!" She dropped the bookbag on a nearby bed.

It thunked onto the covers, Harry winced. "How many books are there?" He asked warily.

"You asked me for books." There was a scary glint in her eyes that made Harry gulp.

"I found a few books in the library on dimension travelling, all theory of course. Then there are a few books I have on time-travel.

"Oh, and here," She riffled in the side-pocket and handed Harry a notebook and a handful of school supplies.

"Wow, thanks!"

"Now, I've made a bet with Ron," Hermione smiled sharply, tapping at the cover of the notebook, "I plan to win."

~~~

He found Harry sitting in front of the window, a book - closed, beneath an arm.

"Um, I thought you'd like this." The older Harry pulled out the familiar silken fabric.

Harry brushed his fingers on the Cloak, his breath caught, "...You shouldn't give this away to a stranger."

His double studied him, "You're not a stranger."

Harry blinked, looking up at him, "You're Harry. I'm Harry as well. That doesn't mean we're the same. But thanks." (Thank you, Hermione.)

The Cloak's shimmers were mesmerising.

The older Harry frowned slightly, "What was he like? Your father." He tried to make his tone light.

Harry understood. "He was... lighthearted. He was arrogant, I suppose, drove mum mad. He's always telling me stories about how he saved mum on the Quidditch pitch. Mum says he's full of lies..." he smiled wistfully, "He told me that I'll be a great beater, but I haven't played Quidditch since I was really small because we had to go into hiding." He glanced up at the older boy, "Are you...?"

Harry nodded, "I'm a seeker, actually."

"I would congratulate you, but that would be boastful of me."

They sat in companionable silence for a while.

"My dad was murdered in my world. The papers wrote it off as an accident, many wizards were killed during that time..." He breathed out shakily, looking down at his clenched fists.

The other Harry seemed confused, "I thought there wasn't a war in your world."

_Harry's_ lips tightened, "There was no Voldemort, but there was a Revolt, then the War. There was less fighting, just... chaos."

In a world without a Dark Lord, things weren't as good as people hoped


	3. Chapter 3

_Harry_ 's footsteps were soft as he walked down the stairs, passing the Potions Classroom were he could hear the bubbling of the potions in the students' cauldrons. The dungeons were cold, the Cloak cool against his skin.

He passed another door, then turned as he arrived. He stood, shivering, before the Potions Master's office door, forcing himself to look, to take in all the differences and to believe.

~~~

"You're leaving." His voice wasn't accusing, a statement.

"Yes." The other Harry's brows creased at the question.

"But, won't you stay at Hogwarts? Where will you go?"

"The Dursleys' I suppose," His lips pulled in a humourless smile, "My mother's relatives, you know them?"

 _Harry_ searched in those eyes so similar to his and found that shard of envy in the green. Of course.

He looked away. They were both going to be alone this summer, it seemed. He breathed through the ache in his chest, fought the soft numbness that caressed at his frayed edges.

"I'll... send you letters. If you want..." The offer fell limp.

"Yeah."

They sat stiffly, uncomfortable in the presence of each other. They could have been each other if things had been different, and so looking at the other was like seeing a lost chance, an empty promise.

~~~

 _Harry_ watched from the window in his room as the carriages pulled away, the bright sunlight dazzling him as he peered at the small figures below.

He wondered vaguely if this was what was going to happen if he became stranded in this world. How many times would he have to watch as people went away before he himself could go on?

He sighed quietly, turning as he pulled the curtains half-closed.

~~~

 _Harry_ was in the library.

He could hear Madam Pince dusting the shelves again, muttering irritably. He tried to be quiet, not wanting to attract her attention, as he edged further into the shelves, peering around for the papers he needed. The library was as confusing as ever, a part of Hogwarts he wasn't familiar with. He felt too exposed among the creaking shelves and crackling parchment that might alert the Librarian of his presence.

He found them in an alcove to the right, the parchment rolled into scrolls and tucked into their spaces.

1988...1989...1990...

He shifted and reached for the column of 1991, the time he came from, then paused. He shook his head and moved on.

1991...1992...1993

He slowly eased the first scroll from its place, gentle as the paper rustled.

... ...

 _Harry_ froze. His fingers were cold as he traced the name emboldened onto the front page.

Sirius Black

~~~

 _Harry_ was back in his room, standing before the bookshelf. It was empty, the wood polished and smooth. A plant, frozen in life, sat as decoration. _Harry_ placed the books from Hermione onto the shelves. He tipped his head back, his thoughts sluggish yet so calm and clear.

His fingers twitched with the longing for something to do. He turned away from the unmoving room.

He headed towards the dungeons again. He would fill those shelves.

~~~

The Owlery was not as full as he remembered but still filled with rustling feathers and hooting calls.

 _Harry_ moved through them, feeling the breeze brush through him, tugging at his form. He stopped in the middle, anchoring himself into the real world. It felt so easy these days, with no one to talk to, it felt like he could just slip away.

Which was why he was here.

An owl swooped down on him, snowy and beautiful.

~~~

"Harry." The Headmaster smiled warmly, his eyes twinkling. "I hope you've been well?"

"...Yes."

"You are already eleven, I see. You haven't claimed a wand yet?"

 _Harry_ felt breathless, frozen because... "No... I haven't. But I don't..."

Dumbledore patted him on the shoulder, "Don't worry my boy, our Harry has agreed to accompany you."

"What?"

Dumbledore smiled reassuringly, guiding him out of the office.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

~~~Canon Harry's POV~~~

Both Harrys seemed to be shimmering, at least to themselves. They were in Diagon Alley, and although the Alley was bustling with people, the crowd flowed around them.

Dumbledore had chuckled and said wearing an invisibility cloak around Diagon Alley would be rather bothersome; Harry assumed that he'd cast an invisibility spell on them instead.

The smaller boy tugged at his hand, he seemed to be dragging his feet. His eyes were downcast, as if unaware of the bustling crowd and the glitter of magic.

"Wait, can we - stop for a moment?"

They paused at a corner. "Are you alright?"

Their conversation had been stilted, the exchange of letters during the summer slightly forced.

"I don't think... What if we cannot find a wand? I mean..." His tone was anxious as he struggled with something.

"We'll find one for you." Harry spoke those words forcefully, smiling at his younger self.

And if they couldn't, they both knew why Harry was here. Holly and Phoenix might just work.

His lips parted as if about to agree with Harry, but then his gaze dropped again. "I never got the letter," he murmured, once again heading for Ollivanders.

His form seemed to blur in the sunlight, his edges trailing away like mist. Harry blinked, the other boy turned back to him, normal again save for the shimmer of invisibility.

Harry shook his head in confusion before striding to catch up again.

~~~AU _Harry_ ~~~

_Harry_ stared at the worn wooden door, his foot nudging the stone step. The windows were grimy, the interior dimly lit. Splinters in the wood tugged at his skin as he brushed his fingers against them.

His older self cleared his throat.

He jerked in a sharp breath, stumbling back. "I don't think, I... I shouldn't be here." Irrational panic threatened to tug his body apart, scatter him until he was nothingness floating in the wind. He’d been waiting for this moment for as long as he could remember, just as he’d waited for the Letter. He’d never doubted, yet now he stood here, scared to lose something he’d never had.

The older boy studied him from behind his glasses, a puzzled crease in his brow. "We can wait a while if you want."

_Harry_ looked around, desperate for a distraction. Maybe he can avoid this forever, grasp for the strings of hope even as he turned away from it.

But he then would never know...

He reached up for the doorknob, the metal cool against his skin. The door gave way easily, too easily.

He blinked in the dimness, his eyes immediately drawn to the towering shelves filled with small boxes and compartments. There was a rustle of movement, then a man, his silvery hair wisping away from his face, emerged in front of him. _Harry_ stumbled back, and the other Harry flinched. An owl hooted outside, its feathers brushing the panes of glass as it lifted away. Perhaps it too sensed the flawed thing within.

The silvery eyes gripped _Harry_ , and _Harry_ couldn't help but freeze.

He knew, they both knew.

Ollivander broke away, shaking his head and wringing his hands. "Before, perhaps, not now.” he paused, then his expression hardened, tone biting, “You came to the wrong place."

_Harry_ 's duplicate didn't seem to understand. "No, we came here for his wand. He's eleven already.”He frowned slightly, “The headmaster explained it to you I think."

The silvery gaze flickered towards him, then he shook his head again, “I know, I know,” he mumbled, “Albus sent me a letter. I don’t mean that.” Ollivander moved back, avoiding his eyes and turning to the boxes. _Harry_ 's limbs shook.

The wandmaker's movements were almost hesitant, the measuring tape jerky and unsure.

_Harry_ wanted to run away. His older self looked curiously at him.

A wand was presented to him, long and thin, the wood dull.

Swish, flick.

Nothing. Of course.

Another.

Nothing. Again.

He was trembling as Ollivander snatched the wand away.

He should have stopped trying. But his older self was staring at him, so hopeful. He had magic, so _Harry_ should too. _Harry_ just wanted to run away...

"Here, try mine." He was almost buzzing as he handed _Harry_ the Holly wand.

_Harry_ nearly flinched away. He wasn't supposed to touch, it wasn't his...

The wood pressed against his palm, cool and unresponsive. He waved it. Nothing.

The wand clattered onto Ollivanders' store table, rolling to a stop next to the measuring tape.

_Harry_ was fumbling with the doorknob, and then he was running, his feet pounding on the stone, sobs in his chest.

~~~

There was a chasm in the back of his head. He closed his eyes, steadied his breathing. White stared back at him. It was... comforting.

Tendrils escaped from it and licked his mind, bringing the comfort of nothingness. He could fall back into that tattered hole. Maybe it was the way back to...

_Harry_ woke to numbness, his room too warm yet the cool numbness lingers.

~~~

The grey owl hooted as it dropped a roll of paper onto the Hogwarts Staff Table. The paper unfurled crisply. The headline, flashing obnoxiously, read, SCENES OF TERROR AT THE QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP.

Meanwhile, _Harry_ was in his room, oblivious.

~~~

_Harry_ could hear the bustle of the arriving students. He wasn’t sure why he was here, in this empty classroom so near the Great Hall. He used to be among the chatter, with his mum or with the first years. Now he’s alone, perhaps never to experience the Sorting again.

The noise washed over him, comforting in a way yet so, so painful.

~~~

“Harry, can we talk?” Hermione was standing with her back to his door, hand tugging at a strand of her hair anxiously, her eyes glistening yet her stance defiant.

What point is there to talking? _Harry_ straightened, a wave of dizziness nearly sweeping him away.

Hermione took a deep breath, “Harry. You can’t believe this; you can’t believe that you don’t have magic.” She cut him off, “No, you do have magic.” Her eyes blazed, challenging him to protest. He stared at her. How could she speak with such conviction? She held his gaze, bold and fierce as ever.

He broke away, because it hurt, more than the numbness he’d sunk into. It hurt when she believed in something so much when _Harry_ just wanted it to end...

He scrambled for a foothold again. “You don’t even know me.” Distancing himself, his voice was so far away. He studied her again, “You feel guilty for this.”

The words dug in deep, ringing truth. He’d known it when Hermione looked at him with bitten lips and restless magic, she felt at fault because of the timeturner she’d used. It was why he’d asked her when he needed research.

Hermione looked as if she’d been slapped. _Harry_ felt as if he was falling away again.

But then the girl hissed, drawing herself up again, “Don’t you dare.” She was seething, “I will not let you push me out of this! You’re going to feel so sorry for yourself, and what will that do?! I will make you believe. There will be a way!” She jabbed a finger at him, _Harry_ jerked away.

And she smiled in sharp satisfaction as his eyes cleared. He blinked up at her, pale in the light and his breathing heavy.

It hurt, edging away from the comforting white. Light always seems too bright after a long night.

“What now?” He needed something to work for, to keep busy, to keep his mind off of it.

“First, we’ll figure out how to help you travel back,” Hermione nodded confidently, “And before you go, we’ll help you regain your magic.”

She seemed so sure, Her eyes dancing with confidence. Maybe it will be enough for both of them.

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May revise this chapter some time later. :)  
> Hope you liked this. Review plz~


End file.
